Hello and welcome to the Lazy Bastard Comic Blog!

You know those emails you get from your friends and family with a funny picture, joke, or link to a cool website? We all get them, and some messages are lame but others are pretty good.

The Lazy Bastard decided to keep a log of the best messages he received from his cousin Hank, and the result is this site. You'll find pictures, jokes, videos, animations, links and sounds that will make you laugh when they won't make you cry.

Why the "Lazy Bastard" you ask? I was working on this blog when my girlfriend asked me to take out the garbage. I was so excited about the new comic blog that I refused. She became pretty angry and her exact words were: "You are such a lazy bastard".

One quick warning: this site contains material that might be offensive to some. Please browse freely, but be aware that you might stumble upon graphics, sounds or words that are not PG-13 rated.

Enjoy the site, and send me an email if you have any questions or remarks.

The Lazy Bastard.

December 29, 2005
Controlling a SlingPlayer with a remote

This is not really a joke or a funny video, but I thought I'd publish it since it might be useful for some folks.

The Slingbox, an amazing little box

I have finished setting up a system on which I can control a SlingPlayer with a remote to change channels on my ReplayTV even if I�m thousands of miles away from my living room! For those that don't know, the Slingbox is an amazing device that allows you to watch your TV (live or recorded) from anywhere where you have an Internet connection. For more details, point your browser to:

www.SlingMedia.com

Below I publish instructions on how to use a remote control with your SlingPlayer to control a ReplayTV.

The Keyspan Digital Media remote control

For another article, where I describe how to control multiple devices with one Slingbox, click here. For the rest of the instructions see below.

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


October 31, 2005
Car advertisement from Great Britain

My previous boss and good friend Steve O. (not, he's not this SteveO), just sent me this:

Strange but interesting

This is a car advertisement from Great Britain. When they finished filming the ad, the film editor noticed something moving along the side of the car, like a ghostly white mist. They found out that a person had been killed a year earlier in that exact same spot. The ad was never put on TV because of the unexplained ghostly phenomenon.

Watch the front end of the car as it clears the trees in the middle of the screen and you'll see the white mist crossing in front of the car then following it along the road....Spooky!

Is it a ghost, or is it simply mist? You decide. If you listen to the ad, you'll even hear the cameraman whispering in the background about it near the end of the commercial.

A little creepy but pretty cool!

See below for the rest of the story and the video (751 Kb).

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


October 15, 2005
Aggressive driving will get you in trouble

In this video, a jerk gets what he deserves.

An aggressive driver

See below for the full video (1.3 Mb).

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


August 18, 2005
Controlling multiple devices with one Slingbox

This is not really a joke or a funny video, but I thought I'd publish it since it might be useful for some folks.

The Slingbox, an amazing little box

I have finished setting up a system on which I can control five different devices using only one Slingbox. For those that don't know, the Slingbox is an amazing device that allows you to watch your TV (live or recorded) from anywhere where you have an Internet connection. For more details, point your browser to:

www.SlingMedia.com

Below I publish instructions on how to control and use a Dish Network Satellite receiver, a ReplayTV DVR, a Microsoft Xbox or a Sony DVD player from anywhere in the world!

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


February 02, 2004
Sex on Mars

The year is 2222 and after accumulating enough frequent flier miles, Mike and Maureen land on Mars. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian.

Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member - about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.

[Read the rest below]

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


December 29, 2003
Amazing Dance by virtual Hippopotamus

An amazing dance executed by a virtual hippopotamus. Some say this will actually be the Lazy Bastard's dance on the night of his wedding.

White Hippos can't dance

See below for the full animation (1.3 Mb).

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


Saddam Lula

For my Brazilian friends, here's something amazing that was just discovered:

Engano
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


September 30, 2003
The Jewish Parrot

Since the Jewish new year was last Friday, here's a good one that involves a Jew, a parrot and the High Holy Days:

Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street in New York City one day, wishing something wonderful would happen in his life, when he passed a pet store and heard a squawky voice shouting out in Yiddish:

"Quawwwwk...vus macht du?... (How are you doin'?) Yeah, du (you) ... outside, standing like a putzel...eh?"

Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. He couldn't believe it. The proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve. "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot." Meyer stood in front of an African Grey parrot that cocked his little head and said: "Vus? Kenst reddin Yiddish?" ("What, can you read Yiddish?") Meyer turned excitedly to the store owner. "He speaks Yiddish?" "Vuh den? (What else?) Chinese maybe?"

See below for the rest.

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


September 20, 2003
Do you know "Jack Schitt"?

Next time one of your buddies says you don't know "Jack Schitt", tell him you know everything.

See below for the full animation (512Kb).

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


August 31, 2003
Who should make coffee in the morning, the man or the woman?

Who should make coffee in the morning, the man or the woman?

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should make the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that's your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it - and the Bible says that the man should brew the coffee." Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Good Book, and showed him at the top of several pages, that it (indeed) says:

"HEBREWS."

Got this from http://chris.pirillo.com/.

Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


June 11, 2003
Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Someone just forwarded me the different explanations on why the Chicken crossed the road - here are a few examples:

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information:
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL GATES
eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, balance your checkbook - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

For the full list of possible explanations on road crossing chickens, see below.

Click here for more...
Posted by emmanuel |  Email this entry 


June 07, 2003
eBay auctions for Xbox games

I created the Lazy Bastard site just to show some videos and animations to my friends and family. I don't get anything out of it, but there are some costs.

Since I'm getting a fair number of hits on the site, I figured I'd put up the list of Xbox games I'm selling on eBay. These are great games, and you can find the links to the eBay auctions below:

- Halo, Combat Evolved
- James Bond 007: Nightfire
- The Simpsons Road Rage
- Turok: Evolution
- NFL 2K3
- Namco Museum

All games include a case, the DVD, and the manual. Shoot me an email if you have any questions.

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


May 12, 2003
A new way to check one's weight

The Lazy Bastard has found a new way to check his weight:

Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


January 18, 2003
Hamburger Ad

In his youth, the Lazy Bastard was quite an accomplished actor. In fact when he was 14 he was the star of a television commercial that featured mayonnaise and hamburgers.

Back in 1982 I was living in Sao Paulo, Brasil. I attended a bi-lingual school where courses were taught in Portuguese and French. An ad company was looking for someone who spoke these two languages fluently to represent a mayonnaise company ("Mayo Gourmet") in a national ad.

Out of over 300 kids, they picked the Lazy Bastard! The ad was shown nationally (in Brasil) on TV Globo, the 4th biggest TV network in the world (after ABC, NBC and CBS). I made $1,000.00 (US) for about 10 hours of work, but that was pretty much the end of my on-screen career (I know work "behind the screens").

I stumbled upon an old tape of the ad, and using my new ReplayTV 5040 and ReplayPC, I was able to copy and edit this art jewel in literally minutes.

The video below is half in Portuguese and half in French and is more of a private screening for family and friends - but you may peak in if you wish.

Click here for more...
Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 


December 11, 2002
The story of Chicken Little

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.

She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think the farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said:

'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Posted by lbastard |  Email this entry 




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